THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES

Sunday, March 7, 2010

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children


[]
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.




The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.







[]
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'


The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'







[] A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'







[]
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'







I love this one!


[] The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'









[]
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.


'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,

'Cause your feet ain't empty.'




I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR




[]
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'


Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'










[]
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too..


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Eye Test...

Look at the picture below very carefully
Have you noticed the girl in the background?
Noticed her bum?
Well look at the picture carefully!
If your answer is YES then go and see an OPTICIAN!!!
What you see is the shoulder of the girl taking the picture!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Interesting one....

http://www.embosscreative.com/warnerbros/exorcist/exorcistgame.html

the.... STRANGER!!

The Stranger

This is very interesting and not the ending I had expected!!!!

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry the stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind..

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked.... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner,
waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... .. .

We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household in the world !)

He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.'



Top Jokes

Top Joke in Australia

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that
he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the
girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from
the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son,
''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The

girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''

The young man again brought three more names to his
father but ended up frustrated because the response was
still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother.
''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that
I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''

His mother smiling said to him,
''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of
those girls. You're not his son.



Top Joke in Northern Ireland


A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.


Top Joke in UK


A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead,
I'll hold your monkey for you.



Top Joke in USA


A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'



Top Joke in England


Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.'

A day without Electricity Supply

Whoah...


today tak da electricity supply from 8 morning to 6.00 p.m.

Even WE'RE TOLD that electricity will be cut,... BUT I:

  • RINGS the DOOR BELL, forgetting the condition...
  • CURSE the Switch for not making the light shine.
  • SWITCH on the fan, Complaining its hot.
  • Bla BLah blah blah

WOah... Now only i know how dependable am I towards electricity... imagine when 1 fine day that we've to face electricity crisis.... MATI LOR!!


LESSON: SAVE ELECTRICITY!!!! GET USE TO LIVE WITHOUT IT!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Good For Driving Beginner

video

Sunday, September 6, 2009

funny one....

video

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

jurrasic FART

video

Friday, July 31, 2009

Tak DA talent, tak payah belagak! boleh mati ow....

video


If No Talent, dun Show Off

Thursday, July 30, 2009

One Of My Scouter

Tai Weinan


Well, this guy, what I call him, is totally a NERD!! HAHAHa.. lol..
Well he's my scouter while i'm in boy scouts,
He tends to brag about his science knowledge in camps....
Although don't get a tail or head about what is he talking anyway...
Being excel in academic +good attitude
Deserves admiration..






MBS Boy In Imperial College With Full Scholarship

Posted on Jul 28th 2009 at 12:29pm under Announcements by wongck

An MBS boy, Tai Weinan did the school and country proud by securing a full government scholarship to study Chemical Engineering in Imperial College, London, the sixth best university in the world (2008 QS ranking). Coming with string of As (10A1, 2A2, 1B3) at the SPM level in 2006, he proceeded to obtain straight As in the Edexcel A-Levels with a near perfect score in many papers. It came as no surprise he was successful in securing a place in Imperial. With a place in the top ten university in the world, he deservedly won a full scholarship from the government to study there. Congratulations to Weinan and Go Forward MBS!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

....beware



DO YOU KNOW ? Coke+Ajinomoto Can be Used To Rape Ladies

I received a news about the recent tactic used to spike girls' drink.

It is a cheap and widely used method.

This method was used in Canny Ong murder.

Rapist uses this method.

Coca-cola+ajinomoto/monosodium glutamate = a medicine which will cause drowsiness and excitement in the victim.


This mixture is poisonous if used too often on the victim.

Monday, July 13, 2009

cool illusion

video

Thought the trick out?

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT ?

This is hysterical. You have to try this. It is absolutely true. I
guess there are some things that the brain cannot handle..

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT ?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon............ This will confuse your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right
foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right
hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.


This is MBS boyz.. Anyway its during Kevyn mini party

video

Before i upload this video, i starred at the sentence ( i agree that this upload does not contain any obscene....)

BTW he's a teacher's son, and we did that in front of her mom...

Friday, July 10, 2009

to football fanc

video

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Cool....

video

I want one of those.....

I'm the best video taker

Curi-curi Record Punya... Enjoy...
Dun 1 say what class... its juz from MBS


video

HEHE....

But in the end this kena bocor liao....

Drama Camp


Drama Camp...
Friday
After school Start..
Then Rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal and rehearsal ....
sleep at 1... some tak tidur langsung...
they supper at 1...
back at 3.00, kacau those whose sleeping
including me...
take photo
try to make someone naked.....
play basketball at 5.00...
next day
7.00 wake up..
morning exercise....
play basket ball with schoolmates..
lol..
rehearsal...
those who didn't sleep suffer the most now... HAHAHAHA
Revenge time for me... take damn many photo.














second day... sleepy...




..

One Muscular, one smoothie... lol...

Michael (middle) Looking smart...
The Day before, Bok Meng Gao....

Next Day......ZZZ... Damn Sleepy



video

Having a bit of party during the night.... Dun worry, non alcholic... Just Xampai ( a type of carbonated fruit juice)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Blame Yourself!

video

Sunday, June 21, 2009

lame

Do you know the reason why Singapore government restricts the citizens not to buy chewing gum?

Here is the story. One day Lee Kwan Yew went to Thailand and had lobster at the dinner with the Thai King. After Lee finished, he asked the King:

Lee : Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster skin?

King: We cannot do anything with it, we just throw away.

Lee : Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and produce some prawn cracker..

Then Lee had an orange.

After he finished, he asked the King.

Lee : What can you do with the orange skin?

King: We cannot do anything.. We just throw away.

Lee : Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce some orange jam.

Then Lee asked for some chewing gum.
After he finished, he put on the plate and asked the King.

Lee : What can you do with the chewing gum?

King: Oh, no. We just throw it away.

Lee : In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce condoms and send it to Thailand.

Lee said good bye to the King and the King asked Lee.

King: What can you do with the condom when you finish using it?

Lee : We cannot do anything. We throw it away.

King: In Thailand when we finish using the condom, we send it to the factory to produce chewing gum and send it back to Singapore.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

In fulfilling reader's sastification

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

Apek:Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aah... dia punya performance tadak bagut... manyak cinang semputloh...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong... tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa...> mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..

Ali: Cilaka apek ni.....nah tengok (opens his> trousers).

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.......gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lupunya lanchiau..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau... Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka.. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja.. Bukan potong zaka la..... Proton Saga........lah

I know you are laughing....

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

say what you want....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Rowan Atkinson

video

Cool, our legendary comedian..... Give a Round of Applause!!!!!!
video

Lol....Lmao... Rofl.....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Wesak Day



























The Bodhi Tree.....

The place where our prince gets enlighted























Buddha statues.... Each and every is in memory for someone.






















Chanting Hall... The place where the Monk chant and splashes the Holy Water..(i think)





















Crowded





















My Bro..... And a Twisting lotus Tree with White Swan.... lol....

Salmon.... YUm Yum






Raw punya



















STEAM plus Mayonese.. Half eaten liao..











Raw





















raw plus cucumber plus WASABI!!










Jealous?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Contract Law In MALAYSIA

Legal Issue on Contract Law in Malaysia - Good for us to know

This is something I like to share with you from one of my seminar recently. If you find this informative, pls circulate. It was conducted by A/P Catherine Tay on Legal issues in E-commerce..

Notice that most of the time, the receipt / invoice you received from the merchant carries this exclusion clause or similarly worded statement: 'Goods sold are not returnable' or 'No refund once sold'.

The thing that I have learnt from her is that : 'As long as your good is purchased for home use and not for business ( i.e. to be resold), the above exclusion clause is VOID.

That means, as long as the good is defective, regardless of what is worded, you CAN get back all your money spent. You do not have to accept a repair on the good or an exchange. You CAN ask for a refund. AND you are LEGALLY right and entitled to! What a relevation!!

And most of the time the merchant will refuse to return you your money.


Her advice? >From her own experience ( and no less than 7 and all successful!) , she will threaten the merchant with four words: 'SEE YOU IN COURT!'

The court here refers to the Small Claims Tribunal Court.

However, you don't have to tell them what court! All you have to pay is RM10 admin fee and the loser (the merchant) will have to refund you the money PLUS the admin fee!


She shared this with us because she felt that even educated people are cowed by such unfair wordings (which includes her jaded friends who are not lawyers).

Pls try not to let the merchant fleece you the next time you have a defective good.


I know where to file this. On the 16th floor of Putra Place (The Mall opposite Putra World Trade Centre) .. The form cost RM5.00. The Tribunal will settle within 2 months period.

I find it amazing that this photo, taken so many years ago, actually still
exists!
And now, someone has put it online for all of us to see. This
INCREDIBLE picture was taken in 1918.

It is 18,000 men preparing for war in a training camp at Camp Dodge , in
Iowa . EIGHTEEN THOUSAND MEN!!!!!


What a priceless gift from our grandfathers!
























FACTS: Base to Shoulder: 150 feet; Right Arm: 340 feet; Widest part of arm
holding torch: 12 1/2 feet;
Right thumb: 35 feet;
Thickest part of body: 29
feet;
Left hand length: 30 feet; Face: 60 feet; Nose: 21 feet;
Longest spike of
head piece: 70 feet;
Torch and flame combined: 980 feet;
Number of men in
flame of torch: 12,000;
Number of men in torch: 2,800; Number of men in right arm: 1,200;

Number of men in body, head and balance of figure only: 2,000


Total men: 18,000




Go america...

My Idol... Mini Stuntman

Although the wall isn't that tall, and a lot other people can climb it, but i still admire him. Know why? Because I CAN'T CLIMB!!!!!

video

His name is Au Yong. Cool? still single, any girls (OR BOYS) who want his number, get it from me...


video
This is not a punishment...... just a challenge.. Its SCOUT not ARMY...